Time to clean the Cobb webs in my blog. I am happy to tell those few good souls who visit this blog now and then, that I am engaged. After a few weeks of playing hide and seek on the phone and one evening of meeting in person, I finally conceded defeat and surrendered to a lovely lady who we goes by the name Deepi.

The match making process was not unlike the ones we see in movies. There was of-course the common friend/link to the two families who initiated the contact. Then came the customary horoscope match and the legendary photo exchange. After umpteenth time of my mom rejecting the photos I have sent her, citing every possible reasons from, 'hair looks brown' to 'teeth looks yellow', I finally convinced her to send the pics to the bride's family. Do all mothers think their son looks like Surya or is it just mine??

After the photo exchange went well, came the calling her up part. I was told that she is quite reserved and in no uncertain terms that I shouldn't ask her too many questions. I scrambled for advice from my friends and cousins who have had prior experience and got an earful from everyone. Don't talk to her too much about future lest she will think you are already planning on what she should do, Don't call her too often lest she will think you are desperate, Don't do that and Don't do this. In short it seems like I can't ask her anything more than her name. When I was working myself to a frenzy with this, came the call out of the blue from her dad, asking me if I want to talk to her. I was so nervous that I ended up talking to her dad more than her :)

The subsequent conversations were better. I realized that she is no more reserved than I am. She talked clearly and freely. We talked about our respective family, her sister, my brother, our similarities and differences, interests and quirks. We seemed to have a lot in common. In a Indian arranged marriage, you don't fall in love and get married but the other way around. I felt like we had enough in common and see eye to eye in lot of things. Still, all I had till that point was a picture and a voice and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't connect them together.

Then came the topic of me coming to India to meet her. At that point my mom was very happy with this alliance that my request of meeting her in person, alone, outside her home must have sent her shivers. I have a reputation of confusing and getting confused that my mom was not willing to take the risk of arranging such a meeting. After days of cajoling and threatening and soliciting support from uncles and cousins, I managed to convince her to the one-on-one meeting.

It was weird going to their house in a entourage. I wanted to go alone but ended up going with seven people. I was sitting there mechanically answering their questions wondering where is she. Finally she came downstairs, gave us all the customary drink, then sat in a chair in front us. Then nothing happened for another 10 min(Actually it felt much longer! Theory of relativity, I guess :) ).

Then her brother in law, asked me if I want to come upstairs, then sure enough she followed us escorted by her chiti. Then we were all talking for a 10 min or so, answering all their customary questions on my schooling, college and work, wondering inside that this is too big a build up, since I already talked to her so many times on the phone. Then one by one they all excused themselves to finally leave us alone. After what felt like a 10 min conversation(but apparently it was hour and half), her chiti came to see what we are up to. She told us that downstairs everyone is wondering whether to eat lunch or not since customs demand that you eat a full meal only upon the confirmation(uruthi). Then I told her, I don't want to keep them all waiting any more and I want to go ahead with the wedding. (I know, it is not the most romantic way to tell it ;( but that was what I did ).

That was it. The beginning of the end of my life as a bachelor. I don't think I will be nostalgic about this. I had my time under the Sun, I had my carefree, take life as it comes bachelorhood. I know married life is more responsibilities and less free time. But, who wants free time. Free time is the one I have started to dread lately. There won't be anymore evenings eating alone, there won't be anymore valentines days without roses, there won't be anymore long drives with empty companion seat, there won't be eating lunch meat for dinner every day.

I am ready for the transition. My life will get only richer by it.

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I am observing generation gap in my life for the first time. It just pisses me off when my parents try to stuff their age old prejudices down my throat. To top it off, I hear them say "You are in America and you don't know this!" or "You are confused!" or the emotional atom bomb "I am doing only for you own good". I don't know how to let the know that I am not 12 any more. I am freeking 26 for God's sake. Telling them to treat me like an adult doesn't seem to register in their mind.

I and torn between my wish to be comply with their wishes and listening to my gut. At what point do you say, enough is enough and tell them to stop planning my life, to say "Take a hike!" in very polite words!

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Tagged by Skely.



1. I set my alarm to 6 AM though I get up only at 7 AM. I wake up, shut the alarm off and go back to sleep. That extra one hour sleep is heaven!

2. I let my mind wander when I am driving. Sometimes I will get so caught up in my dream that I miss my exit. God knows, how I don't get into an accident.

3. I hate shopping alone or for that matter shopping at all.

4. I will never buy pop when I go out to eat. For some reason I can't justify the one extra dollar you spend on that.

5. I hate small talk with people in elevator, gym or in parties. I go out of my way to avoid it.

6. When there is gap in conversation I use the filler like 'yeah ..... yeah' . I have been trying unsuccessfully to change it.

7. I talk with my hands and have reputation of knocking down things. My colleagues won't sit next to me if I have my water by their side.

8. Some times I catch myself picking my nose in my desk if I am thinking about something. Then I hope that nobody noticed it.

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How will one feel when the people who are close to him don't trust him enough? Smother him with advice and micro-manage his words and activities. Instill doubt in him may be their ideas and dreams are better and more practical than his. He knows that they want the best for him but, he is still torn between following his own gut and the advice of people who are close to him!

what a pickle to be in!!!

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