Vanity - Excessive pride in one's appearance or accomplishments;

Vikram came back to his apartment, in a posh area of Plainsboro,New Jersey, from work, tired. He is not a stranger to tiredness. Its been his best buddy for a long time. Actually he liked being tired which usually means he has met a deadline or exceeded expectations earning kudos from his manager. That's how he rose from a developer to tech lead in a short span of two years. Its his tiredness that reminded him of his worth in work and life.

But, today he is tired for a different reason. He didn't like the way he felt about himself. His pride has been hurt today. He dropped himself on the couch and turned on the TV. The 70s Show was on, his favorite, but he felt strange that he is not interested in seeing the show. He started to reminisce the things that happened in the office.

Today, he met Kannan, a new hire for the post of Project Lead. Kannan introduced himself to the team as IIT graduate from Chennai, finished his Masters in Stanford and with a couple of years of experience with Microsoft under his belt. Kannan smiled a lot and was nice to everyone. But Vikram didn't like Kannan for some reason and he is mad that Kannan is going to be his boss from now on.

Vikram, stretched himself on the couch and started debating why he didn't like Kannan. He thought to himself, 'Well, I didn't go to IIT because, I am came from a rural town in Tamil Nadu and didn't have the coaching required to pass the IIT entrance. But, I still got good marks to get into a good college for B.E and then to a decent university in US. I am only 26 and I am already a team lead. I am good myself and why should I feel jealous of Kannan ? Had I received the same opportunities as him, I would also gone to IIT and would have become a project manager like him'.

Its been a week since Kannan joined and every day Vikram felt miserable. He felt inferior before Kannan. He decided to get his mind off Kannan and started to type the Status Report for the week. He turned around suddenly disturbed by the sound of a slow humming, It was Larry, the janitor. He is a tall African American with a tattoo in his fore-arm. Its a signia of the battalion he served under in Vietnam. He seemed to be in his fifties and has been a janitor ever since he left the Army. He is humming a tune and clearing the garbage can in Vikram's cubicle. Larry seeing Vikram looking exclaimed, 'Sorry dude, didn't mean to disturb you, I just can't get this song out of my head. I heard it yesterday in my grand daughter's kinder garden Christmas celebrations. Here!! Is the picture of Lakeesha, my grand daughter. Isn't she a cutie pie!!!.'

Larry went to the next cubicle. Vikram stopped typing and started to think, 'This guy Larry, How can he just go about do his stinking job with all this happiness. Why isn't he jealous of me? After all I am half his age and earn three times more than he does. I am a foreigner in his country leading a wealthy life, still he doesn't seems to care. Infact he jokes with his fellow janitor and the CIO, talks to everyone in the same manner. He doesn't seem to be affected by anything around him. He is just too sure of himself. Now, why can't I be like him?'.

Vikram thought for some time and realized that the only difference between him and Larry is Vanity. He said to himself, 'I look down on people who are below me, that's why I am jealous of people who are above me. If I put my Vanity aside and look at people for what they are and not for what they do, I will be a better man. I will be like Larry!!'.

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I can't figure out why there is so much emphasis on horoscope match. Is it a science really. I don't know much about it, but I know this much that it is based on 9 planets. But who said there is only 9 planets. Now the scientists say Pluto is not a planet but an oversized asteroid. Who knows how many other planets are there still to be discovered? Won't it change all the calculations???

Another thing is the birth date. What about pre-mature babies and babies born through C-Section. In these cases isn't it the discretion of the doctor to decide when to deliver the baby? This will further screw up the horoscope won't it?.

People see horoscope match because everyone around them do it and they just want to play it safe. If anyone tells this aloud he/she will be branded as being confused and a rebel. What a humbug!!

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Just Finished AYN RAND's book Fountain Head. I am writing this post immediately so that I don't lose sense of the novel. Word of Caution!!! This post might not make sense if you haven't read the book.

The book has 2 contrasting characters, Howark Roark, the Creator and Peter Keating, the second-hander. The author used these two contrasting characters to put forth her idea of Objectivism (DD, had a post on this already titledClearly Confused).

Roark is portrayed as the personification of the concept Objectivism. He does things he thinks as right and not affected by others opinion. He is the as man should be. Keating is the exact opposite of Roark. A man who lives in the eyes of others. A man so selfless that, he doesn't do what's he thinks as right but what will others think as right, a man as man should never be.

From the time I started reading this novel, there has been a debate in my mind, who I am like Roark? Or Keating? I think, I am like Keating. I live in the eyes of others, not everyone but only those I care about. I don't always do what I think is right, I do that offers least resistance and agreeable to me.

I enjoyed the book, especially the authors persuasive writing. She almost makes the reader agree with her. But I think Objectivism is possible only in a novel. The world is a collective entity. Everyone is dependent on one other for things big and small. People make compromises to make their life less difficult. People associate themselves with a group for the support and comfort, for the strength in numbers. There are few great souls like Buddha and Gandhi who embody Objectivism. But for an ordinary human, collectivism is the way to go.

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I find to hard to list the resolutions for 2006. I wonder if this is because its the first time I am taking a new year resolution. Anyways let me that a shot at it. My 2006 resolutions are

1. Learn Sharepoint (I have been sitting on this for long)
2. Remember to wish friends/family on their birthdays (like DD does!!!!)
3. Find a girlfriend (Hopefully my mom doesn't see this!!)
4. Read more, use the dictionary often, become better with words.
5. Donate Blood (haven't done before, I am ashamed!!)

Well! thats it for now.

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